Last night I had my very first dream of my mom and brother. I have never dreamed of her before but I have had one dream of my brother.
In this dream I was going from one strangers home to the next, much like I have been trying to not be homeless; looking for a chance to gain stability. In this dream she showed up at the door. I was ecstatic to see my mom. I went to hug her and she took a step back. She reached out and handed me some money and said I just came to make sure your alive and that's all. My brother opened to door and the second he saw her he closed it and walked away and left me standing there with her alone. As she was walking away, I cried for her to please don't leave me. I need my momma. I need my momma. But she left me. And I was devastated.
For many who question the validity of having absolutely no family at all...
.my mother left us at a boys and girls club when I was four for 60 something days and never returned. Dhr picked up us then split us up and that was the end of that. My father bailed as well and they both separately chose a burden free life of sex drugs, alcoholic and petty crime.
All of my great aunts and uncles expect 1 that I found on line are dead. All of my grandparents are dead. My father is dead..found online at 2009 to have died of liver failure. I do not know about my mom if she is alive but I know she doesn't care if I am or not.
My sister chose the same path as my mother...I don't think she will live long enough to see her kids grow. My brother hasn't wanted anything to do with me since we were split and he was adopted at 5.
I am all that I have and I am all that Isabel has. For those of you with mini and petty problems with your family. Make an effort to sort it out and be grateful if they are half decent. Too many parents are monsters and too many abandon us.
My experience in life has evolved me into the mind , gut, spine and backbone I have today.
This dream really showed me that deep down inside, I wish I could call on my mom for help even though she won't ever be there but, I'll always be there for Isabel and my poochy Skip.
Take time on reflection today and look to the stars. Maybe you'll find an answer or maybe you'll find yourself.
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